Have We All Lost Something?

Have We All Lost Something?

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about grief.

The more I reflect on it, the more I wonder whether grief may be a factor in many psychological issues.

It’s well-known that a person can experience grief in relation to many types of losses, not just bereavement. These can include loss of a home, a job, or a relationship.

In fact many of the issues that cause people to make an appointment with a psychotherapist could have a loss hiding behind them. Depression, for example, could be caused by the loss of a relationship. Anxiety may be the result of a loss of confidence.

And since ultimately everyone who seeks therapy has a desire for change, and all change involves a loss of something, I wonder whether the question of grief should be more carefully considered for every issue, and whether a grief counselling approach should be more widely employed, and not just in cases of bereavement.

A psychodynamic psychotherapist would help the client to explore their childhood for clues as to the origin of a problem, but many of our losses occur when we are adults.

Cognitive behavioural therapists would look at negative thinking patterns – that’s what CBT does – but the question of a loss may not even arise.

Narrative therapy could be an effective way in. What was the client’s story before the loss, and has a loss tried to change their story, in a way they may not like?

The key question, really, is to get to the bottom of what the client has lost, or perhaps what are they fearful of losing. If this approach were to be given the prominence it arguably deserves, then every type of therapy would be a form of grief counselling.